|
|
Post by .x.chaos.is.R E B E L L I O N| on May 1, 2010 23:10:49 GMT -5
  Roxanna listened to him, her fingers still massaging this dog's fur. She knew he enjoyed it and truly, he was the only thing that kept Roxanna grounded within her emotions. She listened to Nathen rave and rant with almost a bored expression on her face. However, on the inside she was bursting with anger and then burning with regret and then feel the immersion of sorrow, complete and full sorrow. When he was done, Roxanna's blue eyes were bitter and they did have small tears that ran from her eyes. She stood up, with a final stroke to the coyote mix's muzzle and gave two claps, the sound loud and mocking. She chuckled and then gave a twisted version of a smile. "You Contaro boys, all tryin' to get me angry." Another chuckle. Her eyes met Nathen's clear brown ones and she gave a sorry little shrug, as if to say "too bad". "Good job Nathen. You've successfully alienated me and helped me make up my mind. I'm leaving Kentucky. You'll never even know I was here; I'll have another name and no one will ever find me. You can have your brother; he'll forget about me soon enough. We've only been together for about half a year. You guys are two peas in a pod, and if you already don't like me, then I know that it's only a matter of time before he doesn't, if it hasn't already happened. So, there you have it, Nate. Good luck with your life. I hope it's a helluva lot better 'an mine." With a slight incline of her head, a condescending smile on her face, she turned and waltzed out the door with hand on her belly, and not a single backwards glance.
She walked at a leisurely pace to the park, the scenery breath-taking as it was changing from winter to spring, the vegetation already bursting with life. No one noticed the young woman walking with a carefree gait, but tears streaming down her face. She was on the sidewalk, her arms around her body as if she was trying to keep herself from breaking. It was her fault. It had always been her fault. From the physical lures to the deep, soulful ties they were bound it. It was her fault she felt like she was tearing apart from the inside out without Sawyer. It was her fault she had been hurt. She sat on the bench and watched the world go by. For hours, she just sat there. Her expression never changed from its tepid bleakness. She couldn't change it. She was numb. She didn't care anymore. The dark had already come and it was pressing against the world when Roxanna finally stood up, her balance swaying at first. But then her body grew stronger as her heels clicked against the pavement. She went from the park to her car, her actions habitual and without thought as she backed the car up and drove to the ranch. She left her yellow pumps in the sports car, and she went straight to... the open range.
By now it was approaching 11 o' clock, and she still wasn't home. Ah, well. The Holis's knew where she was, they always did. She just walked and walked. For a very long time. She came to a patch of grass that she felt she should sit on and sit she did. She did nothing but stare into space, her face blank of any thought. She looked just like the empty shell she was. "I'm leaving you." Her voice was a hoarse whisper. In her mind, it was a shining summer day, the shrieks of delight coming from little girls and boys filling the air around her, a big black stallion of immense size and strength in front of her. He was looking at her with the biggest brown eyes that held a tenderness that was saved for her and her alone. "I'm leaving you, Black. I'm leaving because there's nothing for me here." At her words, Black looked at her, sadness in his gentle eyes, as if to say, "Am I not a good enough reason?"
"No...but I." She just stopped her sentence, as if that was the last thing she wanted to say, or rather the only thing she could. The screams of delight that came from the little kids suddenly disappeared, leaving her with her dead stallion. Black's image suddenly wavered and Sawyer took his place. He was smiling, and the world seemed happier, brighter. The returning smile on her face was instinctual. She loved him. She would love him until the day she died. Not like she'd ever tell anyone that now. And suddenly, one of the laughing toddlers came up to Sawyer, and a soft gasp left Roxxy's throat. The little girl was the spitting image of her father, only her eyes were clear brown; she wasn't blind. Sawyer bent down to pick her up, and he gave her a sweet kiss on her forehead before swinging her high and then holding her, her bottom on his forearm. And then another child came up. Twins?The two girls looked exactly like, from their smooth, creamy skin to their long black curls, which hung in ringlets about their cherubic faces. Roxanna reached out a hand to Sawyer, and he looked at her strangely. As if he'd never seen her before. He tilted his head to the side, but then that smile returned to his face and he looked to his left as a beautiful young woman came to his side. Missey. Now Roxanna understood; those twins were theirs. Heart breaking, Roxxy stifled a sob as they shared a loving kiss, her hand going in his shirt, the motion pulling it back towards his shoulder to reveal a flawless chest. A chest without a bullet mark. A chest that would've been had Roxanna never come.
Roxxy woke, cold and alone, the world plunging into total darkness as it was around midnight. She had been dreaming on the soft Kentucky blue grass. She was laying on her side, but with a stiff arm, she pushed herself upright. Her cheeks were sodden with tears and she felt the earth crumble beneath her fingers. "I have to leave." Getting up, she walked slowly back to her car, sliding in. Driving to the Holis mansion, Roxanna took a shower, threw up, brushed her teeth, took another shower, ate, brushed her teeth again, got dressed. Nothing made sense; her actions didn't make sense. She was repeating things, delaying her absence. Roxanna finally just stopped and with a scream that had to have belonged to an insane person, she threw a ceramic lamp at the wall. And out of her house she ran. She ran all the way into town, her body covered in sweat, her defenses broken. She had nothing. She had everything, but she lost it. She was crumbling away; there was no glue to keep her together. She had nothing. And that would never change.
She went into the park again, as if searching for something. It was around 1 in the morning now. Like a wild animal, her eyes were wide with adrenaline. She didn't understand herself anymore. She ran to the Cafe to find the doors locked. Well, of course they were. It was early in the morning. Taking her keys out with shaky fingers, she unlocked on door and slide in the cool darkness. She went to slide into a booth and the comforting smells of the built in bakery and kitchen soothed her enough for her stop crying. She didn't understand why she was still here. Shouldn't she be leaving? She pulled her knees up to her chest and put her arms around them and began rocking back and forth, her curly hair still damp from a shower. "I want it to stop... Just make it stop."
 WORDS ?! word count
TAG ?! foryouu
OUTFIT ?! outfitie
NOTES ?! i love talking
CREDIT ?! Hey it's SHMEY! @ caution 2.0 <3
|
|
|
|
Post by Desert on May 2, 2010 0:57:21 GMT -5
Can You Hear Me?
Can You Feel Me in Your arms?
Holdin My Last Breath... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ His usual spot was by the window, waiting for her. he till hadn't come home. Neither had Nathen. And by the end of the day he was reayto give up. Standing, he slowly made his way upstairs to his room...Their room and went to the back of the closet, absent-mindedly punching in the code to his safe. Inside were his special things. Most had once belonging to Roxxy. There, in its center was the diamond necklace Roxxy had given him before she left Kentucky the first time. The necklace he had worn on his right wrist until the day she returned. He had put it in his safe for safe keeping.
Taking the delecate jewels in his hand he brought them to his face, letting his face rest on the clear diamonds. A tear falling down his cheek. He then tied it around his right wrist and managed a small smile. "You're my one and only love." he said in a small whisper. He then made a vow. To never love another woman. Never love anyone. It was clear that his love no longer wanted to be in a relationship. Though reluctantly, he would let her go. Perhaps she would find another man. A man who would love her forever. Make her happy. If Roxanna was happy, so was Sawyer. Maybe she would have kids, raise a family.
Sawyer Contaro was blessed to have been able to feel her love.Even if it was for a little while. Though their meeting seemed like a lifetime ago. He was unaware of the tears sliding down his cheeks. Tears of sorrow, and of happiness. Roxxy would have a good life without him. Though she would always carry his love in her heart. It would always be there.
He stared out the window and sighed "Think of me every once in a while. Remember me. Maybe even forgive me. I'll be waiting her for you if you decide to come back." he said, closing his eyes and laying down. Falling into a deep sleep.
Shaken awake, his eyes flew open and he sat up. Nathen was there looking pissed and worried. Sawyer could feel his expresion. "This is your last chance to ge her back, Sawyer. She works at the Cafe. She's here. Hurry and you may get her back." without a word, Sawyer sprang out of bed and...Yeah...Jumped out of his two story window. Bending his knees at the right time to make the landing. He then darted into the woods toward town. Toward Cafe De Leche.
The sun was falling when he arrived at the Cafe. Dinner service had just started. He found a table. Which happened to be table he Roxxy, Alex, and Leelyn, had sat at during their second meeting. Things were good then. Everyone was happy. Their love had just began. Starting with a crush. It had become so much more that night. Roxanna had gotton pregnant with his child.Then Dimitri had killed his child, and nearly killed Roxxy. Soon after, Roxxy had left, leaving Sawyer to rot in his own personal Hell. Then she came back. He had been shot. At that thought, he touched the mark on his skin where the bullet had touched. He got this scar from protecting her. He wore it like a prize now. Anything to protect the woman he loved so very much
The night before she left, he had made love to her. Given himself to her. At least..At least their final night together was happy. But, his future with her hung by a thread. Around his wrist was the diamond necklace. He fiddled with it as dinner service came to a close.
"Sir. I'm going to have to ask you to leave. We're closing up." one of the employees said to him. Sawyer's head lifted then he realised that he was the only person left. "I can't leave." he said calmly. "Sir, don't make me repeat myself." the young man said. Sawyer's eyes closed. "I refuse." his tone was still calm. "Why should you?"
"I'm just Romeo. Waiting for his Juliet." he said softly. Then, the man closing up left him in darkness. And there, he waited..
It was early morning when he heard keys then the opening and closing of a door. The sound of his crying love filled the air. Yet, he stayed perfectly still. Soon the crying stopped and Roxxy spoke. Taking this as his cue. He stood and moved toward her slowly. "It doesn't need to stop. It doesn't need to end like this." he said as he slid into the seat next to her. "It doesn't need to end in pain." he whispered as he took her hand, his fingers knotting with hers. "It doesn't need to end in sorrow." he said as he turned her face toward him, ever so gently. "It doesn't need to end in regret." he said. Then, he kissed her. Tenderly, lovingly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Safe Inside Myself.
Are All My Thoughts of You.
Sweet Raptured Light, It Ends Here Tonight Tags ~' Roxxy, Sawyer
Word Count ~' Word Count
Muse ~' Pretty good.
Music ~' nothing
Notes ~' ^^
Lyrics ~' My Last Breath- Evanescence |
|
|
|
Post by .x.chaos.is.R E B E L L I O N| on May 2, 2010 12:57:13 GMT -5
She never saw him, coming in. That was probably due to the fact that it was pitch black darkness in the cafe. The light nonexistent here. Besides, she was also occupied with her self-guilt and hatred. At first, it was like a psychotic dream that her mind had come up with her taunt her, teasing her with something she wanted fiercely but couldn't have. But he was real! She could feel the heat of his body upon her cold form, and his touches were gentle and real. Palpable, not just some figment of her imagination. Sawyer... And he was talking to her, whispering gently. He had her fingers intertwined with his and he moved her face towards his, and their lips met. There was an explosion of senses and emotion, just like there had been on their very first kiss when he'd gotten her mad, and they'd had their first real kiss in the rain, Roxanna being kidnapped afterwards. She sobbed during their kiss, tears pouring down her face. She pulled away and she blubbered through her tears, "You'll be hurt if you kiss me! I've always hurt you and you just come back for more!" She brought their hands up and covered her face with them, her wet eyelashes sweeping tears onto her hand. "I hate you, Sawyer. Now, leave. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I'm tired of hurting you." Her protests were feeble, exceptionally weak; it was easy to tell by the way her voice cracked when she said it. Like a kitten trying to kick away a tiger, Roxanna's strength failed her as she tried to push Sawyer away, but she only succeeded in pulling herself closer. And she had her arms around his neck, her lips on his over and over again, however she was still crying and murmuring over and over again, "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you."
She couldn't deny it. For so many years she'd been independent of everyone else, even G. She didn't need anyone else to survive or breath. She just needed herself. That was until she met Sawyer. It started as a hapless crush and then it blossomed into something so much more beautiful. It was love, a rare type of love. And she was ruining it. She wanted to stop the overwhelming need to kiss him, but she couldn't. Instead, she was telling him she hated him while she kissed him. How cacophonious! With a last sob, she cried out to Sawyer, "I love you! I've ALWAYS loved you! I will ALWAYS love you!" She covered his face in kisses, her body pressed against his just so that she could get warmer and be close to him. But she was still crying. She didn't deserve him; she never had. She had to accept that and try to be the best possible girlfriend for him. He deserved that and more. Her hand swept across something that made her stop. She suddenly froze and she brought his wrist closer to her face and then touched it. She knew that piece of jewelry. It was the one she wore that night she left Kentucky. She had given it to Sawyer for a reminder.
A startled gasp came from her mouth as she let the torrent of tears fall from her blue eyes. "I don't deserve you, Sawyer." She looked at him and finally pushed him away, backing up into her corner, her legs drawn up tight to her chest. "I don't." She put her head on her knees and looked away from him, her hand absent-mindedly squirming its way onto her belly.
WORDS ?! word count
TAG ?! foryouu
OUTFIT ?! outfitie
NOTES ?! i love talking
CREDIT ?! Hey it's SHMEY! @ caution 2.0 <3
|
|
|
|
Post by Desert on May 2, 2010 14:57:26 GMT -5
Can You Hear Me?
Can You Feel Me in Your arms?
Holdin My Last Breath... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ All the pain he had felt these last few weeks seemed to go away. He was happy now. Being able to feel his Roxxy's lips. Though she was sobbing, kissing, and telling him that she hated him. He still gently caressed her face, wiping the tears away. Just like he always did when she cried. "Shhh, love. No need for tears. It's all right." he whispered to her, kissing her cheek as soon as he had his lips free. Then his lips found hers. They moved with and against them.
"Oh baby! I love you too! I've loved you since the moment we met." he held her close, stroking her damp hair. Taking her kisses. Enjoying them. He was so...distracted by her lips that he barely noticed her swollen baby filled belly. At least, until she stopped kissing him. Then he REALLY felt it. His breath caught in his throat. His hand moved to touch her belly. But she was already gone.
No! She went away. She took his child with her. With one swift movement he was at her side again. His arm around her shoulder. "Roxanna, you know that I'm yours, and that I always will be. You do deserve everything I have to give you." he said softly kissing her neck. Before his other hand went around to her stomach. Covering her smaller hand on the swell. His heart soared and he smiled. Letting his fingers curl over hers. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Safe Inside Myself.
Are All My Thoughts of You.
Sweet Raptured Light, It Ends Here Tonight Tags ~' Roxxy, Sawyer
Word Count ~' Word Count
Muse ~' Pretty good.
Music ~' nothing
Notes ~' ^^
Lyrics ~' My Last Breath- Evanescence |
|
|
|
Post by .x.chaos.is.R E B E L L I O N| on May 2, 2010 16:21:03 GMT -5
Roxanna didn't push him away when he came back to her, his embrace sweeter than chocolate and honey. He was all she ever needed. And even though she couldn't see his face, she knew it was bright with unrestrained joy when he felt her belly. Yes... "We're gonna have a baby Sawyer..." She nuzzled him, her tears changing to ones of happiness. She didn't sob anymore. She just put her face against his neck and breathed in his scent. "We're gonna have a baby." Little did she know that they were actually going to have two babies. But still, in her mind, she was seeing the family of four she had seen in her dream vanish, replaced by her and Sawyer and a tiny infant in his arms, her hair black and her eyes brown. But this time, it was their baby.
WORDS ?! word count
TAG ?! foryouu
OUTFIT ?! outfitie
NOTES ?! i love talking
CREDIT ?! Hey it's SHMEY! @ caution 2.0 <3
|
|
